words are hard to come by when i try to describe what i’m thinking about. all i can think about is how awesome you are and how blessed i am to have you in my life. i feel like that’s all i say, but that’s seriously how i feel. i have never meet anyone when has made me feel so special and loved like you make me feel. you always make me smile and laugh; whether through a dumb joke or a simple look in the eye. i love how passionate and adventurous you are. the fact that everyday there are new surprises and mysteries is fascinating to me. that doesn’t happen between ordinary people i meet. we want to make sure each others’ days are good, and we would do anything to make the other person’s better. we encourage each other constantly for finishing up school work and in our faith as well. i am blown away every day when i think about us. i honestly don’t know what i would do without you in my life. you challenge me to do my best and get out of my comfort zone. you have helped me through many difficulties in my life. you are always there for me. and i hope you know, if you read this, that everything i have said about you is true. i am so excited to see where this adventure takes us. i would be lying if i said i didn’t want this to last.
today i am thankful for this overwhelming joy flowing out of me. i am not really sure where it has come from especially since yesterday i wasn’t in the greatest mood. i am learning to appreciate the little things more and more: the fact that i got in all the classes i wanted for next semester, i am applying for a TA job in the design labs, i am getting my research done, and simply that i am surrounded by amazing encouragement and laughter. //thank You for new opportunities and blessings in my life. sometimes i am at a loss of words for how amazing my life truly is.//
ya know how i have a huge theology paper due two weeks after Easter break? i am grateful that i was able to find a topic that i am actually really passionate and excited to gain more knowledge about. i get to write about how we as Christians are called to glorify God and in what ways we can do that. //Your glory, God, is something that can’t be hidden. even though somedays i don’t have the strength or attitude to give You glory, there is still something inside of me that longs to worship You. i really do desire to be in communication with You everyday. i really do desire to serve others in order to bring You glory. i really do desire to make everything that i do reflect Your light. i need to keep fighting for that strength and attitude i need in order to fulfill my desires. if i continue to delight in Your presence and glory, You surely will give me the desires of my heart.\
Easter is coming up which means i get to go home to a full family. i am beyond thrilled especially since i get to bring my co-adventurer home with me! i am excited to spend time hanging out together as a family since we haven’t been all together in a loooong time, plus i get to show-off the boy. it is gonna be an awesome time, i just know it. i also have the opportunity to play drums on Easter Sunday; it has been way too long since i’ve worshiped behind the drum set. i am so ready. //i pray that our trip is filled with great memories and laughter like it always is. give us good conversations and quality time together.\
Lord, i continue to lay my life down to You. i can’t do this on my own. i don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, a month or even a year from now. You have everything under control, and i thank You for that. i pray that i never stop longing for You. You are the strength that i need to keep going through my homework while the weather gets warmer. You are the reason i should be joyful always. be the center of my life and let Your light shine through me.
“In worship, we gather in the presence of One who was before us; who will be after we are gone; and who, despite our smallness and the brevity of our lives, invites us to some kind of relationship.”
— Ronald Byars
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar. The fear of the Lord leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble.”
— Proverbs 19:21-23
lately i have been overwhelmed by busyness. i feel like i haven’t had a chance to breathe. i have been drowning in research, papers, and projects. there have been moments where i have just sat doing nothing because i didn’t even know where to begin. when i get super busy, worry smacks me in the face even harder.
i started to worry about my future: what is going to happen after college? where will i end up? will i ever get a job? what will my current relationships look like? i also started to worry about things closer to the present: will i ever be able to read all these books so i can write a dumb paper? how will i get all of these projects and papers done before finals? will i ever get a car for the summer or am i going to have to deal with sharing with the bro?
all the stress of homework, work, and worry has taken its hold on me. i have not been able to find time to rest. some days i have found myself not even giving thanks to God.
a few days ago as another project piled on top of me, something crazy happened. i was not in the greatest mood. all i wanted to do was curl up in bed. the next day, trying to keep a positive attitude, i received an email from the International Arts Movement, who we visited while in New York. the lady said that she saw my online portfolio and wanted to feature some of my work on their blog. when i read that email, i almost exploded. i was so overwhelmed with joy seeing as i was just worrying about if my work was good enough or not. i answered a few questions for them and today it was posted. i am beyond honored and blessed to have my work featured on a well-known art community’s blog!
because of this one surprising event, i feel more affirmed that i am on the right track. i feel more at peace about the future and all my worries seem to have dispersed a bit. this has given me more confidence in God that He has my life in control. if i can’t, God certainly can. He is so good. i have not stopped thanking Him for this opportunity to share my work. i am excited to see where this takes me.
i still have a lot to do the next few weeks, however, i am going to try my hardest to focus on God and the goodness He has placed in my life. i will continue to place my worries at His feet every morning and throughout the day. this will help me focus and take one project at a time.
today i hardly did any homework, but do you know what? i feel at peace. i don’t feel super stressed. people aren’t as crazy as they may sound when they say that taking time to rest really makes a difference. even God rested after creating the world! it is amazing what even a few hours of just relaxing can do to my attitude and approach to life. i need to keep resting; it shouldn’t be put on the back burner nor should it wait until i am swamped with work that all i can do to function is sit and do nothing for a while.
God, i pray for strength and focus as i try my best to accomplish everything i need to get done. i have the confidence that i will get it done, but i need Your help to guide me away from worry and towards a more restful lifestyle.
what/who is most important to me? am i spending time doing those things or spending time with the people i love? i don’t wanna waste my life indoors on technology all day. i wanna be different and experience joy every day!
“Our minds are so cluttered with to-do lists that there’s no room for us to experience the joy in being alive today.”
— Craig Groeschel // Weird
“Don’t let culture divert you from living in the present, being fully engaged with people around you and the gifts and challenges that draw you back to God. Don’t let the chaotic pace of normalcy tug you in the wrong direction. You’ll have to fight against the daily drift—others’ expectations, the urgent but unimportant, a false sense of self—or you’ll get swept away by a normal life. Be different.”
— Craig Groeschel // Weird