as i sit here at my desk in my own room, in a house with some of my best friends, listening to the crickets outside, i can’t believe where the time has gone. it seems like yesterday that i was moving into the dorms on campus to start my first year of college. but now look where i am. i am a senior. i am practically on my own. so crazy!
and to think where God is gonna take me this next year freaks me out, but in a good way. i have a lot of decisions to make, but this summer one of the biggest things i let go was trying not to worry so that’s what i am going to do. i am going to let God direct my life because without Him i am nothing. seriously, i couldn’t ask for a better life at the moment and it really is because of God’s grace that i am where i am. i go to an awesome school and am studying my passion. i am surrounded by Christians and am encouraged daily. i have the best co-adventurer i could ask for. i have never felt so loved in my life. i can’t get away, and i hope it never changes. my family is awesome. even though they are far away i know that they care about me and am proud of me.
who knows what will happen this year. all that i know right now is i need to take things one thing at a time and have fun. i don’t wanna stress myself out like i did so much last year. i want to make this last year at Northwestern the best yet, and i believe i can accomplish that. i am anxious, but i am not gonna let worry take over. how can i worry when i am so blessed with a God who loves and cares about me so much that He won’t let my foot slip? no matter what happens i know i have a firm hold on Him and am surrounded by those who love Him deeply as well.
so tonight as i settle in for a hectic semester, i am gonna focus on what i have and enjoy it. i can do this!
who knew i’d ever feel this way about someone.
sometimes, i just can’t believe how lucky i am to have you in my life. like this is real. this is happening. holy cow.
“In the same way I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.”
— Isaiah 66:9a
"Distance makes the heart grow fonder."
i never really understood this quote before. i found it kind of cheesy and dumb because how can you grow closer to someone who is far away from you? but life has changed. God had an awesome plan in store for me. i met the guy of my dreams, and i am excited to say that we have been together for almost 6 months. we don’t live in the same state, so this summer has been tough. like really tough. i never realized i could love someone so much that my heart could actually hurt or i would feel like i could cry whenever i think about him. i have fallen hard for this kid & words can’t even explain how it all happened.
now back to that quote. distance sucks, let me tell ya. when your best friend is 1000 miles away when you need them is hard to deal with. when you need a hug, a simple smile, or a word of encouragement, you have to be okay with a text, a snap, or a phone call. i have learned a lot about myself this summer, and even though i have had those moments of breaking down in tears wondering why i’m in this situation, i have no hesitation in saying that i am glad i have experienced a summer like this. my faith has grown, i have been blessed with amazing people in my life, and most of all (this is where the quote comes in), i have learned how to love someone who is 1000miles away as if i were right next to them.
don’t get me wrong, distance still stinks, but learning how to love someone without the physical is important. yes, i miss that so much, but my heart for this Colorado-native has doubled because of this summer. somehow i still get giddy whenever i get a text from him. i get anxious right before he calls me. i want to do everything i can to put a smile on his face. i seriously can’t get him out of my head. i need him terribly, but God has humbled me and reminded me that He is the one who has blessed me with this love that i feel. He is my focus and the reason i am able to experience this amazing life that is beyond what i could’ve imagined. i thank God everyday for my 1000mile away co-adventurer. i have no shame in saying that my heart has grown fonder because of the distance; but seriously, August 18th, come faster. i can’t wait any longer to run into my best friend’s arms, look into his eyes and say, “i love you. let’s go on an adventure.”
“those three words
i’ve said too much
but not enough”
— chasing cars | snow patrol
i’m overwhelmed with God’s love for me. it blows my mind that he loves me like a groom loves his bride. especially this summer i know what it feels like to be loved by someone else. it’s awesome and it’s something i never wanna give up. it’s hard for me to comprehend the fact that God loves me as much and even more than how i feel right now. it’s simply amazing! i don’t think i’ll ever understand that kind of love, but i’m gonna soak it up and spread as much love to others as i can.
I let go of my worries & God provided me with a closer place to stay.
How great Thou art.
“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.”
— Psalm 143:8
If you become weary of waiting for answer to your prayers, remember that I also wait: so that I may be gracious to you and have mercy on you. I wait till you are ready to receive the things I have lovingly prepared for you. Blessed are those who wait for Me — expectantly, longingly, trustingly.
// excerpt from “His Faithfulness” in Jesus Lives by Sarah Young